Writing your own obituary is a very odd thing. I've heard of people who have actually done this. I wanted to give a crack at writing mine. Right Here, Right Now. Let's begin shall we....

Del Piano, Barbara Bit the big  one on ****. Also known as Madam Elvis, Barb lived just as she died. With risk, with excitement, with a zit the size of Omaha on the left hand side of her nose.

Barb hit the wall happy. She was found dead on the rollercoaster, the ferris wheel, the brick wall, the woman's bathroom, the trees in the park and the sausage and pepper stand. She is survived by her loving family, and her vast array of animals that she called her babies, with the exception of one, which was simply her "little bastard".

Burial arrangements will be made as soon as all the pieces are found, worse than a 5,000 piece 3D jigsaw puzzle, the wake will be held in the 7 counties they are picking her up from.

We expect at least 50 Elvis impersonators to perform "All Shook Up". Although Barb's only sibling Patti will do her randition of the Patsy Cline song "I fall To Pieces".